“all around you, people will be tiptoeing through life, just to arrive at death safely. But dear children, do not tiptoe. Run, hop, skip, or dance, just don’t tiptoe.”

For the last couple of weeks Jerome and John have been joking with me a lot about how short my time was getting here…how soon i’ll be back in my "comforts"…

For a while i would just cordially smile and laugh a little and say ‘i don’t want to think about it’…but the last couple days – i’ve kinda had to…

i didn’t want to deal with the thought of leaving my new family. It’s hard to know how they live every day and to simultaneously know what i’m about to head back in to.
i didn’t want to deal with my fears of letting the world of materialism and self-importance numb down the beauty of simplicity and community God has shown me here.

Teddy giving Clarence a razorblade haircut

Beloved, Let us love one another, because love is of God; everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God. Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love. In this way the love of God was revealed to us: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might have life through him. In this is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as expiation for our sins.
- 1 John 4:7-10


The kids keep telling me they’re going to lay in front of the pickup so we can’t leave the compound…Momma, Marta and Ya keep telling me their going to miss their son…Monsignor Tikpor simply said “Go-come ya”.

Monsignor seems to always put me to ease. He always has some advice that really comforts me or at least helps put my doubts to rest. He’s helped me to realize that this adventure is not ending…it truly is merely beginning.
During his homily on Sunday that’s what he told the children. “I know we want to cry thinking this is Matthew’s last Sunday with us, but don’t. God has a purpose in his leaving. God is merely preparing him to better serve his kingdom – getting him ready to better serve his people. We will see him again.”

With a few words and a smile from Monsignor, my perception turned yet again. My fears of falling into my old routine in the states and anxiety of leaving those i loved turned… it turned straight into gratitude and eagerness.

All i could think about was how great our God truly is…How He led me to this place. How He put this love in my life. How he didn’t just bless me with new friends but enlarged my family from 7 to 138…i can’t even fathom what it would be like had i not come to Liberia.

you know - just sharing a mango

helping Ya serve lunch

This part of my adventure has been one of learning, of laughing, and a lot of loving. It has taught me that to live simply and in community is the most enjoyable way i can live my life. It’s taught me not only to look beyond the gray skies, but take comfort in knowing God is always right alongside me through them. It’s finally given me conformation in my vocation: to be a lover of Jesus and his people.

“Following Jesus is simple, but not easy. Love until it hurts, and then love more.”
- Momma T


i don’t know if i’d say i’ve come away from this experience with a “plan-of-action” for my life and where it's going other than to have no plan. Jesus has wrecked all the “plans” i’ve made anyway…yea…it’s definitely time to let go and let God.
i can’t give you a five-year-plan…or even tell you what i’ll be doing a week from now - only God knows, and that’s the way its gonna stay.


We know that we have passed from death to life because we love our brother. Whoever does not love remains in death. Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life remaining in him. The way we came to know love was that he laid down his life for us; so we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If someone who has worldly means sees a brother in need and refuses him compassion, how can the love of God remain in him? Children, let us love not in word or speech but in deed and truth.
- 1 John 3:14-18


“Love is a harsh and dreadful thing to ask of us, but it is the only answer.”
-Robert Ellsberg,ed., Dorothy Day: Selected Writings (Maryknoll, NY: Orbis,1992),339.


All i know is now that as i’ve seen more of the 3rd world, and felt what love truly is…all i want to do is work for His people - my people - my brothers, my sisters. i know that i want my life to sing of the Glory of God. i want it to sing of love, my shortcomings, and his grace. i want to be a hand reaching for our brothers and sisters who were born into the 3rd world when we lucked into the 1st. i want to find and bring to light those things that won’t be gone as quickly as a pay check. i want to devote my life to trying to better understand The Way, The Truth, and The Life, as Jesus taught.

“Jesus never says to the poor, ‘Come find the church,’ but he says to those of us in the church, ‘Go into the world and find the poor, hungry, homeless, imprisoned,’ Jesus in his disguises.”
- Tony Campolo


i will stumble, and oh, will i fall… but from now on i want to stumble and fall running full steam. i want to bust on my face, just to get back up with a smile and start running again. i no longer want to just fall into what everyone else does…but i want to run the blind-folded race that God has set it store for me.


“Love without courage and wisdom is sentimentality, as with the ordinary church member. Courage without love and wisdom is foolhardiness, as with the ordinary soldier. Wisdom without love and courage is cowardice, as with the ordinary intellectual. But the one who has love, courage, and wisdom moves the world.”
- Ammon Hennacy (Catholic activist, 1893-1970)


The past three and a half months have been more than life changing. The people and my experiences have instilled in me a sense of being indescribably alive. It's taught me that stepping outside of your comfort zone - struggling a little - brings such a pleasure and reward in a knowledge and reality of what is truly important or petty; many "sacrifices" end up not being sacrifices at all - just enjoyable lack of complication…its taught me that we all fall, but you’ll never know if you can make the leap or not if you don’t find the courage to jump. So my challenge is this…Jump. Find something. Anything. Whatever and wherever your heart pulls you…but give love a chance….let love live. Get dirty. Go past your boundaries. Be uncomfortable. Be vulnerable. Be real. Be yourself. wake up alive.

Thank all of you for your support and prayers on my trip to Liberia; it would not have been the same without them… But know this is only the beginning. i don’t know where or what God has in store for me next…but i can promise it will just be another turn on this Great Adventure.



“We can do not great things, only small things with great love. It is not how much you do but how much love you put into doing it.”
- Momma T

“Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be.
I dare you to move. I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move like today never happened.
Maybe redemption is stories to tell
maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here.
I dare you to move.”

“Dare You to Move” -Switchfoot

i pray for courage, for wisdom, for love…patience, generosity, understanding, joy, hope, and peace…for all of us!



Life, Love and Peace

Slonti

“The truth is natural like the wind that blows,
follow its direction – no matter where it goes”

“Wake for Young Souls” –Third Eye Blind




Therefore, we are not discouraged; rather although our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to what is seen but to what is unseen; for what is seen is transitory, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

What really is reality?
Is it the routine we fall into every day? Or is it what we hold as visible?
Maybe it’s what we perceive as logical…
Might i dare to say that reality is whatever you want it to be…

Yea, that sounds right…Reality is whatever you make it.

It definitely could be staying in the present system we have in the states and getting a great job.
…It could also definitely be scrapping that completely and doing something off the map.


“I want out of the labels. I don’t want my whole life crammed into a single word. A story. I want to find something else, unknowable, some place to be that’s not on the map. A real adventure. A sphinx. A mystery. A blank. Unknown. Undefined.”
- Chuck Palahniuk



i was really into staying in that system for a while. i loved (and still love) college, and hanging out with my friends, and getting ready to look for a job that would hopefully set me up to be successful. i guess it just seemed like that’s what growing up was about. Everyone i knew went to school, got into the best college they could, then looked for the best job offer they could find. It just seemed like that’s how life went. It was what seemed realistic.


Africa has shown me something though…
Work is work – nothing more, nothing less.
It is a means to support. And anything beyond support will be a waste of time...ha, well at least to me

It’s shown me that no matter my occupation, employer, or title i’m just as human – just as small – as the man in slums pushing a wheelbarrow – the crippled, ex-rebel soldier that helps watch our pickup - the guy flipping burgers at Mc-y D’s – the man sleeping on the sidewalk.

“Commit yourselves wholly to God, come what may.”
- Saint Teresa of Avila

We live in Him, we walk in Him, we are in Him.

Acts 17:28

“Christians should be troublemakers, creators of uncertainty, agents of a dimension incompatible with society.”
- Jacques Ellul

It’s shown me that you can provide for a family and take care of them anywhere in the world; its taught me that providing is not excess but merely teaching, loving, and caring for those we love. It doesn’t have to be in the suburbs, or the city, or even in the country you’re familiar with.

“Joy is the immediate consequence of a certain fullness of life. For the individual this fullness consists above all in knowledge and Love.”
- St. Thomas

It’s shown me to remember how small we all are – to remember how big the world is, and how big the issues of her people are…to me, something worth fighting for – to me, something that seems to be of real worth.

Life is what you make of it. You are the characteristics, values, and actions you represent. Reality is merely the caution tape we put around the endless possibilities of our existence.

i pray that we might all realize that reality is only a word to describe the world we want to see as logical; the only person who can set that reality is ourselves. i pray that we might find the courage to be all that we can be – that we might realize the only boundaries in this world are our own self-imposed limitations. i pray we might find the strength to run, the courage to jump, and the grace to fly.

I urge you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship. Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect.

Romans 12:1-2

Fan into Flame the gifts God has given you…For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but of Power, of Love, and of Strength.

2 Timothy 1:7

Life, Love, and Peace

uncle matthew

…so the other day this “bana” went to Redlight by himself…

in the midst of Redlight







since our truck was still in the shop from the incident on the way home from Grand Bassa, i walked to the highway and caught a car into Redlight.
I wish I could physically show you Redlight. Someone here described it to me as a more chaotic Manhattan. Haha. Traffic never stops, but there isn’t really a paved road. It is mostly mud and trash and people EVERYWHERE (John swears the density it more than Hong Kong) trying to sell anything and everything…from chickens to fresh produce…soap to rubber bands…used clothes to pirated DVDs, and stands to charge cell (most people don’t have access to electricity) phones or buy scratch cards...it is the underground economy of Africa and there is hardly any architecture in the town; there is absolutely no sense of permanence.















The trip into Redlight was completely fine, and honestly i was really enjoying being on my own.
Getting home, however, was not as easy. i tried to wave down a taxi for 30 minutes in the rain and got no bites except one guy who tried to charge me 12 times the normal price because i’m white (let’s just say i wished the man a good afternoon and said i would wait for the next car)…
i was struggling trying to find a ride.
Haha before i go any further i need to mention that one of the kids had put a green, yellow, and red sweatband on me before I left.
A man came up from behind me and asked if i liked reggae. i laughed and said of course. i asked if he liked Bob Marley…he turned around and he was wearing a Marley t-shirt...go figure…
He told me he’d seen my failed attempts at catching a taxi and that he could give me a ride if i needed one. He drove groups of people across country in a big 18-wheeler (businesses like this, buses, or helicopters are the only way to get around the country) for a living and was going my way on the highway…So like usual, i made a new friend...


We waited around Redlight for the rest of the passengers to show up. Hanging out with my new friend (Ismael) and his crew put me in no way in a sense of discomfort (even though Jerome kept calling me – freaking out and trying to get me to reassure him that he “wouldn’t have to call Steve and tell him his son died alone in Redlight”). i’d even say i felt more and more affluent with the people and culture that i’ve become so fond of. We talked, told jokes, and they even helped me when an ex-rebel hassled me for money… haha he was drunk and threatened to “eat my eyeball”...
We jumped in the truck and drove a little bit to get the fuel needed to make the trek to Lofa county and back. (15 hours there….15 hours back… and Ismael said he wasn’t planning on sleeping at all)

syphoning gas into the drums

loading the truck

i helped him and his crew load up the 16 50-gallon oil drums into the back of the truck, and the bond between me and my new friends grew. They told me they really appreciated that i didn’t mind getting dirty and working with them…haha i told them I appreciated them not letting the ex-rebel eat my eyeball. We all laughed and a man who had been watching us at the gas station walked up and started talking with us. He gave me the best complement i think i’ve ever received…he told me i was a real African. He said my skin may not show it, but my heart did… i cannot express the joy that that man gave me when he said that - And Jerome, John and Clarissa will tell you I’m still smiling...


So we were ready to go – i hopped in the front with Ismael and his crew, and they helped me to get home when i otherwise would have probably still been trying to find a taxi…. When they dropped me off at my stop on the highway they all got out and gave me a hug, we all exchanged numbers, i thanked them again and wished them a safe journey.

hahaha…whoever said you can’t trust a stanger? None of the other volunteers here say they have yet to figure out my strange affinity for Africa, and honestly, i don’t have a good answer for them except i just feel more fulfilled with every day i spend Her people, Her culture, Her life. God just keeps filling me up:)...


The other day was an awesome experience…definitely one i will never forget…"Thank God"





Life, Love, and Peace,



uncle matthew










a video clip of when we jumped into the truck to go get the fuel

Laugh and Love.

Happy the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding! For her profit is better than profit in silver, and better than gold is her revenue; She is more precious than corals, and none of your choice possessions can compare with her.
- 1 John 3:17-18


i remember the way i viewed the world just a few months ago… i remember what made me think i was distressed. i remember what i thought it was to hurt. i remember what i thought one could be justifiably fearful of…let’s just say my perception has found a new path. The best way i can try to describe the last 85 days is simply eye opening.

Marta,Me, and Ya with some of the boys

Meet Ya. She is always smiling:) And whenever you ask her how she is…the only response you will ever receive is “Thank God.”
Ya is one of our two wonderful cooks at Mission Liberia. She is a foster mother to ALL of our children, and to me – she’s an inspiration.
Ya’s time during the war was not extraordinarily different from many of the Liberians, but to me, hers was a story i could actually touch, something tangible as to how Love really conquers all…even in the face of death, destruction, and to us Americans – unfathomable odds.

Ya’s village, like most in Liberia and Sierra Leone, was plagued by rebels.
And when the rebels came, they were ruthless… Many of our children here at the mission watched their parent’s deaths… Ya was no exception. The rebels attacked her village at night when everyone was asleep. They tore into her hut, pulled her husband out of bed and cut his head off in front of her…
Ya now takes care of not only her 4 children with no father, but also 4 other children from her village who lost both parents that same night.


… i don’t share this story to mortify you, or to scare you. i share it not to try and get sympathy for her, because she wouldn’t want it. i’m sharing Ya’s story with you as an example of the type of trust and faith that can get us through anything. The wisdom that God is in control, and everything happens for a reason…and most importantly…He wouldn’t put us in a situation if He was not able to get us through it. That situation may be an inner struggle. It may be an addiction. It may be unemployment. It may be loneliness. It may be the loss of a loved one…


i say Ya is an inspiration not because of what she went through, but because of her strength to get back up – through unfathomable odds.
i say these kids show me love. They do. They show me that eyes that have seen the violence, destruction, and hurt of losing a parent…can still smile…can still laugh…can still LOVE…can still trust.

...so i was laying down on the ground... and the next thing i know i'm being carried away...and told i was going in the well

Ya made them put me down haha

Roland being his normal goofy self:)

When i first arrived, it was so hard for me to understand where this unrestrained joy that i was witnessing came from…i knew the history of the country, and i couldn’t fathom what was so wonderful as to let smiles of light shine though such a darkness…Ya’s story emancipated the answer for me…the freedom in letting go and letting God. Trust. Faith.

“Emancipate yourselves from inner slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.”
- “Redemption Song”, Bob Marley

My time is winding down here. But every single day, my eyes are still being reopened. Every day is a new inspiration. Every day my perception of what is important and what is not shifts just a little more. These people have shown me that this life goes much deeper than the surface i saw back at home. It digs deeper than an F on a test or a bum back - lack of power or ac or running water. They have helped me not only to see the oppression or the effects of war, but to see the people that become the oppressed, the families that are torn apart…and realize that they are no less human than those who watch their “misfortune” on tv thousands of miles away…
They’ve shown me that if i want to help, “charity” goes above and beyond putting a few bucks in the collection basket. Everyday a restlessness continues to brew…a rage, if you will…that will no longer enable me to merely watch the infomercials or potential minute-long review on CNN of the poverty and destruction that is haunting our oppressed and marginalized brothers and sisters.

For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life? Or what can one give in exchange for his life?

- Matthew 16:25-26

“Our Lord has come to bring peace, good news and life to ALL men. Not only the rich, not only to the poor, not only to the wise, not only to the simple, but to EVERYONE, to the brother, for His brothers we are, children of the same father, God. So there is only One race, the race of the children of God. There is only One language which speaks to the heart and to the mind, without the noise of words, making us know God and Love One Another.”
- IBID, Christ is Passing By, 106

Thus says the Lord:
Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom,
Nor the strong man glory in his strength,
Nor the rich man glory in his riches;
But rather, let him who glories, glory in this,
That in his prudence he knows me,
Knows that I, the Lord, bring about kindness,
Justice and uprightness on the earth;
For with such am I pleased, says the Lord.
-Jeremiah 9:22-23

“Cuz it is not a human right
To stare, not fight
While broken nations dream
Open up our eyes so blind
That we might find the mercy for the need.”
- “Solution”, Hillsong

i pray that we might be filled with compassion. That we would work towards being the hands and the feet of the One Body that we are. i pray that we would run for justice and reach for truth. i pray that we might know that the Saints are not those who never sinned, but are merely those who refused to lay down - those who always got up again. i pray that we might not dwell on what is bad with our situation but be thankful for what is good. i pray that we might Laugh and Love.


“She told him she’d rather fix her makeup
Than try to fix whats goin on
But the problem keeps on calling even with the cell phone gone.
She told him she believes in livin
Bigger than she’s living now
But her world keeps spinning backwards and upside down
Don’t say so long and throw your cell phone
Don’t spend your day away, cuz today will soon be…

Gone.
Like yesterday is gone
Like history is gone
Just try and prove me wrong and pretend like your immortal

She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every day we borrow brings us one step closer to the edge infinity
Where’s your treasure, where’s your hope
If you gain the world and you lose your soul
She pretends like, she pretends like she’s immortal

Don’t say so long you’re not that far gone
This could be your big chance to make up…today will soon be gone

Gone.
Like yesterday is gone
Like history is gone
The world keeps spinning on
Your going, going gone
Like summer break is gone
Like Saturday is gone
Just try and prove me wrong and pretend like your immortal

We are not infinite
we are not permanent
nothing is immediate
we’re so confident in our accomplishments
look at our decadence

gone.
Like frank Sinatra. Like elvis and his mom
Like al pacino’s cash, nothing lasts in this life
My high schools dreams are gone
My childhood streets are gone
Life is a day that doesn’t last for long
Life is more than money
Time was never money
Time was never cash life is still more than girls
Life is more than hundred dollar bills

Life is more than fame and rock all roll and thrills

We got information in the information age
But do we know what life is outside of our convenient lexus cages?
She said he said live like tomorrow”

- “Gone”, Switchfoot

Life, Love, and Peace.

uncle matthew