Ku KA Li. Kukiturnoh
- Kpelle "we are all One"



That seems to be the only thing worth living for these days...



"times like these" by the foo fighters keeps running through
my head and they've never stuck
so true...

'..it's times like these you learn to live again. It's times like these you learn to give again. It's time like these you learn to love again. It's times like these, time, and time again.'



But that's what Life's about...isn't it?



life has been different for me the last couple years... Lots of falls And missed steps, but through and through it's been a great adventure of learning, of listening, of growing.


For the past two years i've been learning just how futile any efforts towards planning ahead truly are... And how I get stuck in the ruts every time i do


That part of the road has taught me not rely on myself - to be slow to talk and quick to listen

...'the Truth is natural like the wind that blows, follow it's direction no matter where it goes'

..and that has been a huge grace - a huge check on my pride; in teaching me to 'turn it off'


It's helped me be humbled...
..its helped me to remember how fallible and how small i am - and in the universe, how small we are...
Humans to the earth
Earth to the sun
Sun to the galaxy
Galaxy to the universe


"there's nothing better than love and service, universally speaking"
- the Red Hot Chili Peppers


...throughout all the peoples
And cultures i've been able to experience - whether be different continents, islands, countries, states, cities, organizations, schools, or cliques - those words, their meaning and purpose, are the firm commonality that is the bond...

..The gene of DNA that is
Our life blood as creation, existence, humanity



..How much we don't understand...


When we whether warring, or fighting - arguing or putting down... Take from or harm another .. to Affirm ourselves


What does pride account
For when it's all about the relationships - no matter what
The religion or beleif


How much we can't perceive or comprehend full totality, even though we talk, and therefore walk Around with absolute ideologies from a single limited and enviroemtally-shaped perspective...


Whether rich or poor
slave or free
Muslim, Jewish or Christian
Hindu or Buddhist
Atheist or Agnostic or believer

'With or without a goal, we
All move the same direction'

Every day is a gift and a lesson.. And that was today's (6/29/2010) for me.


Currently back in Liberia with Teach Peace, we are doing all sorts of projects... Today's being a medical clinic with the disabled.

One of the boys and i were talking about life and opportunities after his eye examination and he asked me
what i wanted to work for in life..


Ans Just As a Liberian had said to me before, i responded:
"Ku KA Li. Kukiturnoh"

"come together"

Everything happens for a reason
Everything and everyone has a Purpose
Love and Unity: One F.A.M.I.L.Y.

'He told me one time he forgot himself & his heart opened up like a door with a loose latch & he tried for days to put it all back in proper order but finally he gave up & left it all jumbled up there in a pile & loved everything equally.'



"Once the soul awakens, the search begins and you can never do back. From then on, you are inflamed with a special longing that will never again let you linger in the lowlands of complacency and partial fulfillment. The eternal makes you urgent. You are loath to let compromise or the threat of danger hold you back from striving toward the summit of fulfillment."
- Don O'Donohue

Life Love and Peace

Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam Inque Hominom Salutem

All we are: the waves our existance throws in the sea of humanity through the values, actions and characteristics we represent... we can choose to fall victim to the sea, complacently riding the waves left in the wake of past runners; or we can choose to be a self combusting star: rising above the comfortable waves, living life as if a bridge for others - giving as much goodness possible for the greatest Glory and the salvation of humanity... Finding our meaning, and living our purpose: giving away our meaning. We can be the change in history. 'the future started yesterday, and we're already late'

"...The world respects greatness of quantity and strength, the spiritual man must glorify God through humility and poverty. Eternity has descended upon a soul devoted until then to passing time; it has struck it like lightning. The divine storm has laid waste our disorder, and charity has only begun to order within us our different LOVES."

- Raissa Maritain

In a world full of culture wars and language games, our humanity is separated by every kind of "differend".

...There will always be some missing understanding lost in translation between the addresser and the addressee of a particular vantage point, ideal, or understanding when just relating through word or visual aid....

selfless, "agape" love is the only communication in which the message or understanding is not lost...in which are found: compassion, humility, patience, charity, gentleness, self-control, joy, and peace...

living ALIVE

Life Love and Peace

“I have been all things unholy. If God can work through me, he can work through anyone.”

                                    - St. Francis of Assisi

…The only reason i can give as to why i have not already sent you this is plainly i was not ready…

 

From the beginning of February to the end of May, I lived, taught, served, was taught, and was served in the Mission Liberia compound in BlackTom Town, Liberia, West Africa.

 

My time is Liberia was totally and completely the most perspective-changing, eye-opening, life-living experience i have ever had the pleasure of having.

 

Being there - living a life of community with 125 orphans and 10 Liberian staff on our compound and interacting with the people in Redlight and Monrovia was the most fulfilled i have ever been…it was the most alive i have ever felt.

i was not ready write this until now because since my return, my entire world has been upside down. Before i left, i was blind to the level of poverty and oppression - blind to the quantity and realities of our broken and hurting brothers and sisters throughout the world. But after being placed out side my limited perspective and on the other side of the comforts i lived among… its hard to pretend i am blind to the numbing effect my comfortable life unknowingly placed me under.

 

i went into my experience not knowing how to handle what i “was not going to have”…and i’ve come out not knowing how to handle the complete and total excess that “I do have”. Haha my brain is about to be in meltdown mode.

 

I went from complaining about not having AC to thinking it’s too cold in my house if the AC is on. I went from not knowing what i would do without running water to missing my bucket baths of cold well water.

 

Everything is relative. Everyone’s opinion is based on a limited environmentally driven experience - Mine name is on the top of the list. But not realizing our own limitations to perceive what “is real or important” as opposed to what “is not” is ignorance – haha again my name is at the top of that list as well. That’s the second greatest lesson i learned from my experience, the first being LOVE.

 

My transition back into this world that i grew up in was and still has continued to be a challenge. After all the things i saw, it’s difficult to see the things i’m seeing now. It’s hard to walk through the grocery store after seeing kids on the street that haven’t eating in a few days. It’s difficult to see kids so mad at their parents when the kids i was with don’t have any. It’s hard to watch my friends complain about water quality of the pack of bottled water their drinking when i know they wouldn’t even bathe in the water my kids drink.

Fisheads. YUM:)

Above all, the only thing i can say is this has been and will continue to be a transition.

 

The longer i was in Liberia, the less and less I desired to come back to this life (minus visiting the friends and family part of course...and maybe a cheeseburger). I don’t look down, or think negatively of anyone living this life… my interest just isn’t being kept as well as it used to with it…call it ADD haha…

 

Friends and Family have definitely been helping the transition. We also took a trip to Honduras, and interacting with other Americans in that type of environment aided my transition process tremendously…it helps when you see God’s face in those you are working with!

 

But as of now, God’s words are “Wait.” So i’m going to try and wait as best i can - i’m going to be attending MTSU this fall, and i will be majoring in Organizational Communications (working with NGOs, Global studies, etc.). i will be helping coach football at Brentwood High and also helping to lead the lifeteen group at Holy Family, both of which i am pumped about… and who knows what else will come out of this time…

 

i want to thank ALL of you again for your prayers and support while i was in Liberia. It meant the world to me, and i can personally tell you it meant the world to the kids you helped to serve. With the donations we collected, we were able to:

 

-Purchase a submersible pump (so the kids can have one hose of running water for a couple hours while the generator is on)

-Take care of the entirety of the organization’s financials – all the food, gas for generator, staff and teacher salaries, and medical needs for 2 weeks (we had a bit of a crisis there at the beginning)

-Provide medical treatment of Malaria for our Cook Marta and a few of the children

-Set up a scholarship for 16 kids from the neighboring villages to attend school

-Set up a scholarship for 4 kids to come and live on the mission

- And many more miscellaneous Liberia Mission expenditures.

 

 

Thank You again…SO MUCH!

 

Life, Love and Peace

 

uncle matthew

“all around you, people will be tiptoeing through life, just to arrive at death safely. But dear children, do not tiptoe. Run, hop, skip, or dance, just don’t tiptoe.”

For the last couple of weeks Jerome and John have been joking with me a lot about how short my time was getting here…how soon i’ll be back in my "comforts"…

For a while i would just cordially smile and laugh a little and say ‘i don’t want to think about it’…but the last couple days – i’ve kinda had to…

i didn’t want to deal with the thought of leaving my new family. It’s hard to know how they live every day and to simultaneously know what i’m about to head back in to.
i didn’t want to deal with my fears of letting the world of materialism and self-importance numb down the beauty of simplicity and community God has shown me here.

Teddy giving Clarence a razorblade haircut

Beloved, Let us love one another, because love is of God; everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God. Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love. In this way the love of God was revealed to us: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might have life through him. In this is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as expiation for our sins.
- 1 John 4:7-10


The kids keep telling me they’re going to lay in front of the pickup so we can’t leave the compound…Momma, Marta and Ya keep telling me their going to miss their son…Monsignor Tikpor simply said “Go-come ya”.

Monsignor seems to always put me to ease. He always has some advice that really comforts me or at least helps put my doubts to rest. He’s helped me to realize that this adventure is not ending…it truly is merely beginning.
During his homily on Sunday that’s what he told the children. “I know we want to cry thinking this is Matthew’s last Sunday with us, but don’t. God has a purpose in his leaving. God is merely preparing him to better serve his kingdom – getting him ready to better serve his people. We will see him again.”

With a few words and a smile from Monsignor, my perception turned yet again. My fears of falling into my old routine in the states and anxiety of leaving those i loved turned… it turned straight into gratitude and eagerness.

All i could think about was how great our God truly is…How He led me to this place. How He put this love in my life. How he didn’t just bless me with new friends but enlarged my family from 7 to 138…i can’t even fathom what it would be like had i not come to Liberia.

you know - just sharing a mango

helping Ya serve lunch

This part of my adventure has been one of learning, of laughing, and a lot of loving. It has taught me that to live simply and in community is the most enjoyable way i can live my life. It’s taught me not only to look beyond the gray skies, but take comfort in knowing God is always right alongside me through them. It’s finally given me conformation in my vocation: to be a lover of Jesus and his people.

“Following Jesus is simple, but not easy. Love until it hurts, and then love more.”
- Momma T


i don’t know if i’d say i’ve come away from this experience with a “plan-of-action” for my life and where it's going other than to have no plan. Jesus has wrecked all the “plans” i’ve made anyway…yea…it’s definitely time to let go and let God.
i can’t give you a five-year-plan…or even tell you what i’ll be doing a week from now - only God knows, and that’s the way its gonna stay.


We know that we have passed from death to life because we love our brother. Whoever does not love remains in death. Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life remaining in him. The way we came to know love was that he laid down his life for us; so we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If someone who has worldly means sees a brother in need and refuses him compassion, how can the love of God remain in him? Children, let us love not in word or speech but in deed and truth.
- 1 John 3:14-18


“Love is a harsh and dreadful thing to ask of us, but it is the only answer.”
-Robert Ellsberg,ed., Dorothy Day: Selected Writings (Maryknoll, NY: Orbis,1992),339.


All i know is now that as i’ve seen more of the 3rd world, and felt what love truly is…all i want to do is work for His people - my people - my brothers, my sisters. i know that i want my life to sing of the Glory of God. i want it to sing of love, my shortcomings, and his grace. i want to be a hand reaching for our brothers and sisters who were born into the 3rd world when we lucked into the 1st. i want to find and bring to light those things that won’t be gone as quickly as a pay check. i want to devote my life to trying to better understand The Way, The Truth, and The Life, as Jesus taught.

“Jesus never says to the poor, ‘Come find the church,’ but he says to those of us in the church, ‘Go into the world and find the poor, hungry, homeless, imprisoned,’ Jesus in his disguises.”
- Tony Campolo


i will stumble, and oh, will i fall… but from now on i want to stumble and fall running full steam. i want to bust on my face, just to get back up with a smile and start running again. i no longer want to just fall into what everyone else does…but i want to run the blind-folded race that God has set it store for me.


“Love without courage and wisdom is sentimentality, as with the ordinary church member. Courage without love and wisdom is foolhardiness, as with the ordinary soldier. Wisdom without love and courage is cowardice, as with the ordinary intellectual. But the one who has love, courage, and wisdom moves the world.”
- Ammon Hennacy (Catholic activist, 1893-1970)


The past three and a half months have been more than life changing. The people and my experiences have instilled in me a sense of being indescribably alive. It's taught me that stepping outside of your comfort zone - struggling a little - brings such a pleasure and reward in a knowledge and reality of what is truly important or petty; many "sacrifices" end up not being sacrifices at all - just enjoyable lack of complication…its taught me that we all fall, but you’ll never know if you can make the leap or not if you don’t find the courage to jump. So my challenge is this…Jump. Find something. Anything. Whatever and wherever your heart pulls you…but give love a chance….let love live. Get dirty. Go past your boundaries. Be uncomfortable. Be vulnerable. Be real. Be yourself. wake up alive.

Thank all of you for your support and prayers on my trip to Liberia; it would not have been the same without them… But know this is only the beginning. i don’t know where or what God has in store for me next…but i can promise it will just be another turn on this Great Adventure.



“We can do not great things, only small things with great love. It is not how much you do but how much love you put into doing it.”
- Momma T

“Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be.
I dare you to move. I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move like today never happened.
Maybe redemption is stories to tell
maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go? Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here.
I dare you to move.”

“Dare You to Move” -Switchfoot

i pray for courage, for wisdom, for love…patience, generosity, understanding, joy, hope, and peace…for all of us!



Life, Love and Peace

Slonti

“The truth is natural like the wind that blows,
follow its direction – no matter where it goes”

“Wake for Young Souls” –Third Eye Blind




Therefore, we are not discouraged; rather although our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to what is seen but to what is unseen; for what is seen is transitory, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

What really is reality?
Is it the routine we fall into every day? Or is it what we hold as visible?
Maybe it’s what we perceive as logical…
Might i dare to say that reality is whatever you want it to be…

Yea, that sounds right…Reality is whatever you make it.

It definitely could be staying in the present system we have in the states and getting a great job.
…It could also definitely be scrapping that completely and doing something off the map.


“I want out of the labels. I don’t want my whole life crammed into a single word. A story. I want to find something else, unknowable, some place to be that’s not on the map. A real adventure. A sphinx. A mystery. A blank. Unknown. Undefined.”
- Chuck Palahniuk



i was really into staying in that system for a while. i loved (and still love) college, and hanging out with my friends, and getting ready to look for a job that would hopefully set me up to be successful. i guess it just seemed like that’s what growing up was about. Everyone i knew went to school, got into the best college they could, then looked for the best job offer they could find. It just seemed like that’s how life went. It was what seemed realistic.


Africa has shown me something though…
Work is work – nothing more, nothing less.
It is a means to support. And anything beyond support will be a waste of time...ha, well at least to me

It’s shown me that no matter my occupation, employer, or title i’m just as human – just as small – as the man in slums pushing a wheelbarrow – the crippled, ex-rebel soldier that helps watch our pickup - the guy flipping burgers at Mc-y D’s – the man sleeping on the sidewalk.

“Commit yourselves wholly to God, come what may.”
- Saint Teresa of Avila

We live in Him, we walk in Him, we are in Him.

Acts 17:28

“Christians should be troublemakers, creators of uncertainty, agents of a dimension incompatible with society.”
- Jacques Ellul

It’s shown me that you can provide for a family and take care of them anywhere in the world; its taught me that providing is not excess but merely teaching, loving, and caring for those we love. It doesn’t have to be in the suburbs, or the city, or even in the country you’re familiar with.

“Joy is the immediate consequence of a certain fullness of life. For the individual this fullness consists above all in knowledge and Love.”
- St. Thomas

It’s shown me to remember how small we all are – to remember how big the world is, and how big the issues of her people are…to me, something worth fighting for – to me, something that seems to be of real worth.

Life is what you make of it. You are the characteristics, values, and actions you represent. Reality is merely the caution tape we put around the endless possibilities of our existence.

i pray that we might all realize that reality is only a word to describe the world we want to see as logical; the only person who can set that reality is ourselves. i pray that we might find the courage to be all that we can be – that we might realize the only boundaries in this world are our own self-imposed limitations. i pray we might find the strength to run, the courage to jump, and the grace to fly.

I urge you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship. Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect.

Romans 12:1-2

Fan into Flame the gifts God has given you…For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but of Power, of Love, and of Strength.

2 Timothy 1:7

Life, Love, and Peace

uncle matthew

…so the other day this “bana” went to Redlight by himself…

in the midst of Redlight







since our truck was still in the shop from the incident on the way home from Grand Bassa, i walked to the highway and caught a car into Redlight.
I wish I could physically show you Redlight. Someone here described it to me as a more chaotic Manhattan. Haha. Traffic never stops, but there isn’t really a paved road. It is mostly mud and trash and people EVERYWHERE (John swears the density it more than Hong Kong) trying to sell anything and everything…from chickens to fresh produce…soap to rubber bands…used clothes to pirated DVDs, and stands to charge cell (most people don’t have access to electricity) phones or buy scratch cards...it is the underground economy of Africa and there is hardly any architecture in the town; there is absolutely no sense of permanence.















The trip into Redlight was completely fine, and honestly i was really enjoying being on my own.
Getting home, however, was not as easy. i tried to wave down a taxi for 30 minutes in the rain and got no bites except one guy who tried to charge me 12 times the normal price because i’m white (let’s just say i wished the man a good afternoon and said i would wait for the next car)…
i was struggling trying to find a ride.
Haha before i go any further i need to mention that one of the kids had put a green, yellow, and red sweatband on me before I left.
A man came up from behind me and asked if i liked reggae. i laughed and said of course. i asked if he liked Bob Marley…he turned around and he was wearing a Marley t-shirt...go figure…
He told me he’d seen my failed attempts at catching a taxi and that he could give me a ride if i needed one. He drove groups of people across country in a big 18-wheeler (businesses like this, buses, or helicopters are the only way to get around the country) for a living and was going my way on the highway…So like usual, i made a new friend...


We waited around Redlight for the rest of the passengers to show up. Hanging out with my new friend (Ismael) and his crew put me in no way in a sense of discomfort (even though Jerome kept calling me – freaking out and trying to get me to reassure him that he “wouldn’t have to call Steve and tell him his son died alone in Redlight”). i’d even say i felt more and more affluent with the people and culture that i’ve become so fond of. We talked, told jokes, and they even helped me when an ex-rebel hassled me for money… haha he was drunk and threatened to “eat my eyeball”...
We jumped in the truck and drove a little bit to get the fuel needed to make the trek to Lofa county and back. (15 hours there….15 hours back… and Ismael said he wasn’t planning on sleeping at all)

syphoning gas into the drums

loading the truck

i helped him and his crew load up the 16 50-gallon oil drums into the back of the truck, and the bond between me and my new friends grew. They told me they really appreciated that i didn’t mind getting dirty and working with them…haha i told them I appreciated them not letting the ex-rebel eat my eyeball. We all laughed and a man who had been watching us at the gas station walked up and started talking with us. He gave me the best complement i think i’ve ever received…he told me i was a real African. He said my skin may not show it, but my heart did… i cannot express the joy that that man gave me when he said that - And Jerome, John and Clarissa will tell you I’m still smiling...


So we were ready to go – i hopped in the front with Ismael and his crew, and they helped me to get home when i otherwise would have probably still been trying to find a taxi…. When they dropped me off at my stop on the highway they all got out and gave me a hug, we all exchanged numbers, i thanked them again and wished them a safe journey.

hahaha…whoever said you can’t trust a stanger? None of the other volunteers here say they have yet to figure out my strange affinity for Africa, and honestly, i don’t have a good answer for them except i just feel more fulfilled with every day i spend Her people, Her culture, Her life. God just keeps filling me up:)...


The other day was an awesome experience…definitely one i will never forget…"Thank God"





Life, Love, and Peace,



uncle matthew










a video clip of when we jumped into the truck to go get the fuel